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Kehinde Fawumi

Author: Kehinde Fawumi

  • 7 Guides for Staying Big

    7 Guides for Staying Big

    1. When little people try to drive you down, THINK BIG. You win when you refuse to fight petty people.

    2. When that thinking of ‘I am not good enough’ creeps on you, THINK BIG.

    3. LOOK IMPORTANT, it helps you THINK IMPORTANT. Your physical exterior affects your mental interior.

    4. When you feel defeated, THINK BIG. Concentrate on your assets. Think big enough to see how good you really are.

    5. When an argument or quarrel looks inevitable, THINK BIG.

    6. Regard every setback as a lesson. Use it to propel yourself forward.

    7. When you feel your progress on your job is flowing down, THINK BIG. When you think ‘I can do better’, ways of doing better will show up.

  • These 10 Behaviours Will Give You An Unpleasant Personality

    Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his ultimate goal in life, and nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude. – Thomas Jefferson

    Our attitude defines the way we approach our world and the meaning we give to the circumstances of our lives. This, in turn, determines what we get out of life. Our attitude, therefore, determines, to a good extent, our ability to achieve our goals.

    Your attitude is a combination of your values, beliefs, and expectations. If you have good values, positive beliefs, and confident expectations, you will have a positive, optimistic attitude toward yourself and the world around you.

    Your attitude determines your behaviour which in turn shapes your personality. Thus, to cultivate a pleasant personality, it is important to cherish and live with strong positive values.

    As with all things, the law of sowing and reaping comes into effect. The law says whatever you sow, you will reap. In other words, whatever you reap (personality) is what you’ve sown (attitude, values, beliefs). Interestingly, what you find is that, if you do not sow, you will still reap – but you will reap weeds. An uncultivated personality will automatically yield an unpleasing personality.

    Below are 10 behaviours (inspired by Napoleon Hill) that yield an unpleasing personality and are sure to drive people and opportunities away from you. I believe you will reckon with most of them.

    01. Indifference in listening while others are speaking. This is sure to be noticed and resented. One is always apt to learn while listening to others but one learns nothing while listening to oneself.

    02. Finding fault with the world at large. Always seeing the negative and calling out the wrong in everything. Rather, talk more about things that are right and, in speaking about things you believe are wrong, be constructive and positive.

    03. The attempt to flatter where flattery is obviously not deserved. This puts people on notice that the flatterer wants something he probably should not get.

    04. Sarcasm, expressed by insinuations and wisecracks which are not so wise

    05. Openly and directly challenging people with whom one may not agree, where there is no obvious reason to do so, except the desire to be on the opposite side.

    06. Volunteering unsolicited advice to others who have not requested or desired it. Free advice is worth just what it costs, which is nothing but the patience with which to listen to it.

    07. Speaking of one’s physical ailments, worries, and personal problems at the disinterest of others. This usually does not make one seem pleasing. Rather, talk about things of interest to those you are speaking.

    08. Endeavoring to convey the impression of superiority through the use of words and topics unfamiliar to others. Rather, learn to negotiate with others on their own level, through terms which they understand. It is nothing noble to be superior to others, true nobility is being superior to one’s fears.

    09. Envy of those who are successful. Truly great people are generous, sympathetic and joyous of the success of others.

    10. Obvious pride and vanity expressed by either words or actions. Usually expressed by passing condescending comments, monopolizing conversations or disregarding the opinions of others.

    Let me know in the comment section, which other behaviours you resent in others or you believe causes people to have an unpleasing personality.

  • Learn to listen to yourself

    Learn to listen to yourself

    “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other people’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most importantly, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” – Steve Jobs

    It is the fear instilled by our environment that mostly limits us. We are often incapacitated and discouraged by the ‘music’ of other people’s unpleasant experiences. The failures we see in others build fearful thoughts in us, causing us to unconsciously wane in our faith for success.

    However, the fact the other people failed in a thing does not mean you will fail in the same. Other people’s realities do not define your reality. To stay positive about your dreams and eventually realize them, you must learn to look primarily to yourself for answers.

    You have within yourself the source to every power and answer to every question. Listen to other people’s advice and seek to understand their perspectives, many of these provide immense value, but follow your heart in every matter of importance.

    Your world within determines your world without. We become externally as we are internally.

    Everyone thinks of light bulbs when they hear the name – Thomas Alva Edison. He is clearly one of the greatest inventive geniuses in the world, with 1093 American patented inventions to his name – a record number for one person that still stands. Like many other heroes, his story was not without a clog. Around the age of 12, Edison realized that his hearing was deteriorating, and this grew worse later in his life. He became hard of hearing, almost deaf.

    There he was, a twelve-year-old Edison largely self-taught. Teachers thought Edison was slow – one called him stupid – so he was homeschooled by his mother and read constantly. He shunned every disbelief and negative music sung by his teachers. And see how he turned out.

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    Reporters often asked him: “Mr. Edison, if you are near deaf, why have you not invented a hearing aid?”

    “I’m working on one – for others.” He replied. “As for me, I find that there are distinct advantages to being deaf. For one, it forces me to read, and reading beats the babble of ordinary conversation. For another, it helps me concentrate on my work and spend less time answering foolish questions. Deafness allowed me to work with less distraction and to sleep deeply, undisturbed by external sounds.”

    Edison saw his deafness as an asset! “To invent, you need a good imagination, a pile of junk and some deafness.” He often said.

    How is that for a powerful perspective. To invent, you need… some deafness.

    As a man thinks in his heart, so is he.

    As Thomas Edison did, we must diligently guide our hearts against the disempowering opinions of others about us. It takes courage to shun all discouragements in a bid to stay focused on our truest dreams. In order to reach our dreams, we must seek the strength to make clear decisions and to stand by them.

    This article contains excerpts from the book Liberty Dancehouse.

  • Gratitude hacks that work!

    Gratitude hacks that work!

    This article is not about how to discard or bury the pain of one’s negative experiences. No! That will be shallow. My aim here to explore why you should-, and how you can better deal with the negative emotions we feel in the midst of an unpleasant circumstance.

    So, here’s a summary for passers-by 😉

    1. Acknowledge the pains of a negative experience – don’t discard it
    2. Seek to be liberated from the chains of your negative feelings
    3. Believe that things don’t happen to us, things happen for us
    4. Strengthen the positive thoughts and meanings that could help you maintain a positive attitude in the midst of challenges
    5. Every negative situation comes with a positive message. Identify yours
    6. It is in gratitude that you truly conquer your pains.
    7. Every feeling you have, good or bad, is not based on the actual reality of life. Rather, your feelings are based on your interpretations of what things mean.

    It is natural and important to acknowledge that a painful experience has occurred and to feel the pain of it. It is normal to feel disappointed, sad and grieved when going through a difficult situation. However, you must strive to be liberated from the chains of your negative feelings and not be bound by them.

    One paradigm I have found effective is to believe that things don’t happen to us, things happen for us! If you always seek for a reason to be thankful in all situations, you can be sure you will always find one.

    Things don’t happen to us, things happen for us!

    Seeking gratitude is about strengthening the positive thoughts and meanings that could help you maintain a positive attitude in the midst of challenges. It is about trusting that everything will make sense in the end. Someone once said: you are not sad because things are bad, rather things are bad because you are sad.

    Our lives are not judged so much by what happens to us as by the attitude we display the face of what happens.

    There are endless positive reasons why an unexpected event … any unexpected event could be a blessing in disguise for our lives!

    While I admit that it is natural to feel hurt and pain when going through hard times, I also think that every negative situation comes with a positive message that we must identify. We must never limit our creativity by thinking in a unidirectional manner when we can explore other possibilities and consider the interpretations that empower us.

    In order to be able to truly overcome your pains and challenges, you should learn to be grateful for the circumstances of your life. It is in gratitude that you truly conquer your pains. Every feeling you have, good or bad, is not based on the actual reality of life. Rather, your feelings are based on your interpretations of what things mean.

    Most situations that weigh us down are not bad in themselves, and we can always identify a joyful message in the midst of the situation.

    Once you learn to perceive a situation in a positive manner, you can change how you ultimately feel about the situation. Then it becomes easy to trust that somehow, the difficulty is a blessing in disguise. That the ‘broken roads’ are part of a grander plan.

    A man who won a national title once said: “I want to thank all my obstacles, failures and adversities for making this possible!”

    This article contains excerpts from the book Liberty Dancehouse. Also, check out my website – https://kehindefawumi.com/